Guys all across the world have heard about the bad boy. He seems to get most of the girls, and guys have accepted the fact that “nice guys finish last.” To the contrary, that is completely false. The reason nice guys seem to fail with women isn’t because they are nice, but it is because of all the other traits nice guys seem to harbor. A lot of nice guys tend to be also physically and emotionally clingy, overly sensitive, and just a over-all pushover. They will treat everyone nicely, even people that are rude and inconsiderate. They need people to approve them and like them, and they try to achieve this goal by being nice to everyone. These guys will treat a girl nicely, but they lack a strong personality or identity. This article will help you understand the ways of the bad boy, and be your best self!
How to Be a Bad Boy?
1.Be a man. You have your own time, your own dreams, and your own plans, and you must stick to them. If you don’t like something, then don’t like it. You must not change yourself or your ideas just because women don’t like it. Most men try to impress so hard, trying to get girls to like them that they forget to be themselves. Why would a girl want to be with a guy who doesn’t even have his own identity? You have to create and maintain a strongcharacter. Accept your flaws and imperfections and focus on being better. No one is perfect, and some people will not like you, its simple as that. This is the most important step and concept to understand, and once you have mastered it, girls will come to you naturally.
- Discover your values. What do you like? What do you hate? What is unique about you? What makes you happy? Know your self, or you will always try to “fit” in like so many men out there.
- Keep up to date with whats going on in the world. Read the paper or the watch news, and you will always have something to talk about!
2.Become the center of your world. Walk with purpose, talk with purpose, and slow down your movements. This isn’t easy, but it will be helpful throughout your life. You have to make yourself, your life and your time a priority. Men all over the world lose sight of themselves, and put other people above them. They go around pleasing other people, making sure they are happy; even if it will cause them pain. They will let a pretty girl or friends rule their lives and end up being frustrated. Nice guys tend to always make the needs of other people a greater priority than their own happiness. Many guys feel guilty when they don’t put others first. They act nice and kind, hoping other people will notice, but they get walked over and pushed around. Be nice to yourself, you deserve it!
3.Stop caring too much . One of the biggest pitfalls for all nice guys in the world is that they care too much. They care too much about: what people think, if that girl likes them or not, if they made someone upset, or if aren’t doing whats “right”. Caring about things is a good a thing, but it becomes a virus when taken to extreme lengths. The idea here is to let things be, and stop trying to fix things that are out of your control. Let people be. Let people think what they want. Let people mess up or make mistakes and learn on their own. Don’t get worked up about everything that happens to you. Learn to radiate a calm presence, and smile .This isn’t easy, just like other steps, but it is an important quality of the “bad” boy. Girls love guys that stay calm and are carefree at the right times. Simply, bring awareness into what you spend your time caring about, and figure out if thats what really matters.
- Keep these ideas on your mind throughout your day
4.Stop asking for permission or approval. Nice guys are always waiting for some sign to take some action, which makes them appear passive and timid. Never ask permission to do something (especially with women) and handle objections as they come. Stop looking to others to determine if your acting “right”. Never worry about someone’s approval and do what you think feels right for you. As you apply this law, you will realize that you’ve always had permission to do the things you want to do.
- Instead of asking “Can I kiss you”..go for the kiss, and same goes for “Can I talk to you?”, or “Will you go on a date with me?”..Start talking to her, and say “We need to hang out..whats good for you, Friday or Saturday?” The mindset is all about going for what you want rather depending on others to give it to you.
5.Lead. As a man you must always lead-Don’t wait for someone to tell you where to go, or what to do, Lead your way through. Being a leader is something that’s natural once you stop worrying about other people and go and do what know you need to do. It’s not about being selfish, but rather taking care of your life on your own.
- Be a leader of your life in every situation -If you want to talk to that girl, or want to get that job, go do it. Do what is right for you because no one else will!
6.Be decisive. Always know what you want, and how to get it. Figure out what you want in a situation, with girls and life in general, and go after it. A man who hesitates or is unsure appears very weak. Have a say or a strong opinion on everything, from the restaurant where you eat, to your next activity. Take action toward what you want; it frees you from fear and worry as you chase after things you really want. You only have one life, make sure you steer it toward a direction you will be happy with. Remember…if you don’t know what you want, how will you know when you have it?
7.Be honest with others, especially yourself. One thing bad boys are really good at is being honest, which is exact opposite of what the nice guys do. If a “bad” boy likes a girl, he will show her with no doubt in his mind while a nice guy tends to hide his interest. The nice guy tries to be a girls friend and never show interest in her, and this ends up placing him in the friend zone. Girls know when guys like them, and a bad boy has no problem showing that to a girl, while a nice guy seems to hide it or pretend to not care. Simply, in order for you to be a bad boy, you have to be real with and honest with a girl because she already knows what you want. A bad boy might stare at a girls chest , while a nice guy tries to sneak a peak in. Girls like it when your man enough to show her that your interested rather then pretending to hide your true desires. Second part of this idea is to be honest with yourself, and who you are. We all have stories in our heads that explain who we are, and why we do the things we do. Learn to spot the stories you tell yourself to hide the reality. eg. Having high standards for girls as a way of avoiding rejection, as in no one is good enough for you.
8.Grow independence. Learn to enjoy yourself and your own company. You will realize that the less you need other people, the more other people will need you. Always create your own fun and entertainment. Have a strong passion, and find hobbies and other interests that you would like to spend your time. Life is as fun and as interesting as you want to make it. Never make a relationship or women your first priority or only source of happiness. Stop looking for others, especially women, to make you happy, because you don’t need them. Guys all around the world try to find happiness from everything except themselves. When you learn to have fun by yourself, you will attract everything else and you will truly become independent.
Have a hobby. Anything that uses your time, and makes you happy. It should be something that you’re passionate about, something you like, and something that you can build on! If you don’t have or want a hobby, at-least volunteer. Use your time to make someone happy!
9.Value yourself-Love yourself in a balanced and respectable way. A “bad boy” is bad because he knows that he is worth it, and he cares about himself. A bad boy realizes two important facts about life, you know yourself better than anyone else, thus, your opinion about yourself is above the opinion of others and no one in the world is above you. It all comes down to having self respect, and you must earn your own self respect before you can expect others, especially girls, to respect you.
- How do you earn self-respect? Create a standard for what you will accept or won’t accept from people, and follow through with it. The most important part of having self respect is to not put up with people, men and women, who are disrespectfultoward you, your family or friends.
- The problem with nice guys is that they are nice to everyone, even the people who aren’t nice back. We are all taught to turn the other cheek, but in many cases, that only makes the situation worse. When you treat people who are mean to you nicely; they are simply being rewarded for their bad behavior. Be nice to people who are kind and loving. Being nice to someone mean won’t make them like you. There is no limit to the amount of bitter people in the world, but there are also good people in the world. Surround yourself with the best examples you can find.
10.Be strong physically, but primarily emotionally. As a man, you must be a pillar of strength that your family, friends, and especially women can lean on. Let go of the need to whine, complain or moan. Every where you go, you will find someone who does nothing but complain about everything that happens to them. People have this attraction to playing the victim to gain attention from other people. Realize, no matter how much you complain or vent, it won’t change your reality. Life isn’t fair, and it will never be. Men don’t complain. Simply, suck it up and handle it. When things go wrong, just do your best to make it through the day. It is your responsibility as a man to make sure the people in your life are taken care of. It is easy to get caught in the moment when something bad happens, but just remember your role as a man and you will be able to handle it.
- Workout or participate in some form of physical activity everyday. Regular exercise helps improve your mood, energy, and overall health! This is a critical part of helping you improve your emotional control, as it helps maintain the daily stress level. Working out also improves your confidence dramatically, so workout!
- Simply, being a bad boy is about trusting yourself more than other people and their input. It all comes down to realizing your insecurities and doubts, and removing them. Once you let go of the need for approval from others, you will become a bad boy.
- Being a man, a bad boy takes time; it’s a about taking one step at time, and one day you will have fully grown into that man you desire.This is not about faking, but being your best self.
- Visual practice. Everyday, imagine yourself as the man you would like to be. Just see yourself talking, walking and thinking the way you want, and it will help you get to your goal faster.
- Books to read: Way of the Superior Man, Psycho-Cybernetics, Iron John.
- Movies to watch: Fight Club, 300, The last samurai, Yes Man and Hitch